When you are pregnant, plenty of people are going to come up to you and either talk about the joy or the horror of raising kids. But there are some things they don’t tell you – so we will.
1. The zen is over
You will never have a quiet moment in your life. If you can see your kid and can tell he is okay, you’ll feel relieved but wondering what you can do better; if your kid in somewhere else away from you, you won’t rest until you can have him near you again. When you go to sleep, you are trained to wake up at any noise lest your child be in danger. When they start demanding more independence, you’ll grant it to them with a knot in your stomach.
Having children means becoming eternally connected to another human being that you adore. Rest isn’t even on the programme – you’ll feel obliged to be available at all times, even when you clearly shouldn’t be.
2. Things fall into place
Having children can put things into order. Not practically – kids can be very chaotic and disorganized, after all – but mentally. Before having children, people prioritize different things in life and wonder in what they should be focused on. A career? A hobby? My friends? Now, there are no such questions- your kids become your utmost priority and reason to live, even if you have a thriving professional life and a wide range of friendships. There’s just no way someone can replace that feeling of finally coming home and see your children smile at you.
3. The world is never the same again
Having children will affect the way you experience the world. You’ll find new threats everywhere – the pointy edges of the table, the strangers in the streets, the bully in the playground, but you will also discover other sources of pleasure. Having a stroll at the park can seem a bit dull compared to going out to a club or trying a hip restaurant, but when you are with your children, seeing them play around and feel incredibly joyful just because you decided to start throwing a ball around, you’ll have little moments of joy in unexpected situations.
4. Being a kid again
You’ll relive your childhood through your kids’ lives. This is both in a good and bad way – on the one hand, you’ll re-watch old kids movies and laugh again at the simplistic jokes, because your son is absolutely delighted when you do. On the other hand, you will at times feel so helpless and confused as you did when you were young – everything is this experience is so new you might find yourself not knowing who or where to turn for straight answers and solutions.
5. Forgiving Mom and Dad
Finally, becoming a parent often involves improving the relationship with your own parents. Certain gray areas of your childhood and teenage years, some sorrows, regrets and resentments will fade as you understand better your parent’s choices, even if you still don’t agree with them.