How To Find Yourself Again After Becoming A Mom

How to find yourself after becoming mom

Mothering a child is literally miraculous. As your life perspective changes, so do you. Maybe not at first, but slowly it happens. You start losing your previous identity and start to be known to the world as X’s mom. One day you realize that no one finds you intimidating and strangers feel way too comfortable asking you for directions. As wonderful as it is, there comes a point where you will start to miss the older, slightly tougher version of yourself. For everyone it comes at a different time in their lives. But it will come.

How to find yourself after becoming mom

So how can you reclaim yourself while not giving up your devoted Mama status? Check out these insightful tips to get that part of yourself out of hibernation mode. The best part is that it will be fantastic for your children to see their mom making her needs a priority for once.

Get Healthy

Are you too exhausted to exercise at the end of the day? Do you eat leftovers off your child’s plate instead of making dinner for yourself? You can change your health habits slowly and effectively by marshalling resources around you. Take advantage of babysitting grandparents so you can go to a spin class. Ask your partner to help by preparing something healthy to eat.

As a bonus, cooking better for yourself will result in healthier meals for your family as well.

Leave Your House

Whether you stay at home or work outside the home, that decision is up to you. However, like everything in life, the moment you step away from something, the more you appreciate it. Much has been said and written about the work-life balance, but perhaps the most eloquent and inspiring is by Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Read her excellent piece on how she has juggled her family and her career. The way she describes how having a baby while in law school helped both her studies and being a mom is a must-read for anyone grappling with their own struggles in the matter. Time with your children is more precious when you also make time for your mind. Having work time and home time, while not easy, is immensely rewarding.

Again, everyone makes the choice depending on the needs of their families but sometimes pushing yourself out of the house can help give you a jolt of confidence and respect that is not always found at home.

Rediscover Hobbies

I know, you’re thinking, ‘Who has the time for this?!’ and you would be right. However, it’s amazing how many hobbies can be turned into practical projects for your family. Want to bring out your artistic side? Learn how to decorate a castle cake for your daughter. Does your bookshelf need updating? Try a cute and affordable idea on Pinterest. Doing something to recharge your creative batteries will give you more energy to tackle the less attractive tasks you’ve been pushing off for weeks.

Reconnect With Friends

Adults need play dates, too! Instead of texting your friends all day long without really connecting with them, put down your devices and meet them for drinks. It’s not a myth that your body feels better when you are relaxed and happy. Meeting a good friend for half an hour will do wonders for your mood and give you extra patience for those times when your toddler decides to crack a dozen eggs all over the floor.


So, think about the you that gets lost over snacktime, dinnertime and lunchtime (why are they always so hungry?!) and try one of the ideas here. Let us know in the comments how it works for you!


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